Today's First Reading

References:

Deuteronomy 8: 1-10

Enya, Pilgrim

"Remember how the Lord, your God led you on this long journey through the desert these past forty years, sending hardships to test you..."

I sat transfixed on the reader's every word, hoping I would not forget before I could pen my thoughts to paper, or medium. Pivotal to my feeling of enlightenment were two sentiments:

• sending hardships to test you
• the [path] you chose

It would seem that Jessica and I are facing the most challenging and stressful events in a relationship. Except, in true army fashion, these challenges are not being spaced across several years, but are in fact condensed into a single burst: moving, selling a house, finance, separation/integration, career change, death, and loss of relationships.

Typically stoic, even I am starting to exhibit emotional responses that are generally out of character. Jessica, ever patient with attempts at understanding and support, is also being overwhelmed. Which brings to light the simplest of questions: How will we face these challenges? (What will be our path?)

In my last BBC interview, I commented that we had discussed separation. Well, we talked about it once, for five minutes. Then we each acknowledged that being the furthest from our desires and the thought passed. So we started working through the problem of the time. Consequently, we came out stronger for it, as we always do. And that is the path that we are on, once again.

Moving from Colorado Springs was not on our "to-do" list after the last deployment. That's why we bought the house. However, sometimes, God breaks your eggs to see if you will make omelets or weep at the broken egg.

Jessica was able to apply to colleges other than Denver U. Consequently, a higher-tiered (better) law program from LSU quickly picked her up.

Our house didn't sell, as we'd hoped. We're going to rent it out until the market bounces back, paying the difference in the mortgage. Our equity will continue to build, we will get a tax break for the house and for Jess being a full time student, and when the house finally does sell, we should actually make the profit we were looking for, which I can apply to the purchase of a farm.

I had to leave my platoon and battalion, but now I have a stable platform at Fort Polk, with no deployments, from which to stage my retirement. I am targeting a micro-biology degree from Northwestern State University of Louisiana in Nachitoches before applying to Texas A&M for soil sciences. Texas has a veterans' clause assuring me 190 semester hours, which should get me through my PhD if I stay local, not counting my Montgomery GI Bill.

In conclusion, God challenges us to see if we are worthy of the fertile lands he has promised for our lives. If not, in our blindness, we will walk right through the promised lands, continuing to wander the desert. Or, as Enya phrased the sentiment: In  your heart you wonder, which of these is true: The road that leads to nowhere? The road that leads to you?